Wives of War Read online

  ALSO BY SORAYA M. LANE

  Voyage of the Heart

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  Text copyright © 2017 Soraya Lane

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  Published by Lake Union Publishing, Seattle

  www.apub.com

  Amazon, the Amazon logo, and Lake Union Publishing are trademarks of Amazon.com, Inc., or its affiliates.

  ISBN-13: 9781503942769

  ISBN-10: 1503942767

  Cover design by @blacksheep-uk.com

  Cover photography by Richard Jenkins Photography © 2017

  For Mackenzie and Hunter.

  Thank you for all the cuddles, laughs and ‘I love you’s’.

  CONTENTS

  PART ONE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  PART TWO

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  PART THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

  EPILOGUE

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  PART ONE

  London, 1944

  CHAPTER ONE

  Scarlet

  Scarlet Alexander shut her eyes tight, one hand held high in the air as the wind brushed cold against her skin. She was clutching a letter between her fingers, waiting to let it go, because she had nowhere to post it to, no way of knowing whether her fiancé would ever receive it if she did send it. She knew the words by heart, had recited them so many times that she was certain she’d never forget them.

  Dear Thomas,

  I don’t know where you are, and I doubt you’ll ever read this, but I want you to know that I’ll never give up on finding you. I wish we lived in different times, that we could have already married and had a family, and that you didn’t have to fight so bravely for our country. One day. I keep telling myself that one day we will look back on this as a distant memory, surrounded by our children and sharing tales of the time when everyone else told me to brace myself for the worst kind of news, before you walked back into our lives.

  Yours for ever,

  Scarlet

  The wind whistled, ice cold now, making her knuckles ache. She shouldn’t have told the driver to go, shouldn’t have been so insistent on making her own way to the station. But if she couldn’t stand the cold now, being alone and having to fend for herself, then she knew she’d never have the strength to survive wherever it was she was posted.

  Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Scarlet slowly let the letter go, allowed it to slip from her fingertips. She turned and watched it soar, violently taken by a gasp of wind, slowly disappearing from sight. This was it. She’d held on to the letter for weeks now, wanting to send it but not knowing where. It had been so long since she’d had a letter in reply that she was afraid Thomas was gone, that she would never see his smile ever again. Except for the tiny voice inside her head, the one that kept telling her not to lose hope. Even his own mother seemed uncertain, but Scarlet wasn’t going to give up so easily.

  ‘Miracles happen every day.’ She murmured the words, bent to collect her bag and straightened her shoulders. Scarlet took a deep breath and started to walk. She could do this. She just had to swallow her fears, stay focused, and do her bit. She was new to nursing – it wasn’t like they were going to make her do anything she wasn’t prepared for, and if she found Thomas along the way . . . Scarlet walked faster, head ducked down as the wind slapped her cheeks.

  If she found Thomas, it would be worth anything.

  Scarlet dug her fingers into her palm as she fisted her hand, the other clutching her bag tight. This was it. This was her chance to do her bit, to be part of the war effort. She only hoped she was stronger than her family gave her credit for, because not even her mother had seemed to believe she would go through with becoming a military nurse. She could still hear the high pitch of her voice, snapping at her over afternoon tea that she hadn’t exactly been bred to care for others.

  But she’d done it, and there was nothing her mother or father could do to stop her now that she’d made her mind up. All she had to do was believe in herself.

  She looked up at the sky, breathed in the cold, damp air, glanced at the oak trees as they waved their branches in greeting to her. It was as if even the weather knew they were at war, it was so unseasonably cold. Scarlet had no idea where she would end up, but she doubted that anything about where she was going would seem familiar to her. Would she be able to sleep at night with the sounds of war so close? Would she be able to do her job, have a strong enough stomach for the wounds she knew she’d be tending? Scarlet swallowed a lump in her throat, digging her nails deeper into her palm as she walked.

  She could do it. For Thomas, she could do it. Just like she’d already survived her military training on the outskirts of London that she’d been certain would kill her at the time.

  The railway station was unbearably loud – too many people in a small space, the sound of a train pulling into the platform and being loaded until it was brimming with humans and baggage making Scarlet want to run. But she didn’t, because she’d left home now and she wasn’t going to run back to her parents and admit she’d been wrong.

  She folded her arms tightly around herself, thankful for her warm coat as she found a bench to sit and wait on. She wondered if Thomas was warm, then sighed. More likely unbearably cold and lying in a trench. She understood from his early letters that the conditions weren’t great, even though as an officer he most likely had it better than some, but she hadn’t received a letter for months now, so she had no idea what it was like for him. He’d endured almost eighteen months before she’d met him when he was home on leave, but she still worried.

  Looking around now that the station wasn’t so busy, she noticed other women, some alone, others with families. She tucked a loose strand of hair back behind her ear and took a slow, deep breath. What she needed to do was make a friend, someone to talk to, so she could stop worrying. Too much idle time, her mother had always said, was a very dangerous thing – although her mother would have preferred she fill it with socialising and ladylike pursuits – and the last few hours, even days, she’d had far too much time to think.

  Scarlet was about to stand up when someone sat down next to her and stuck out a hand. She looked up into dark eyes and a huge smile.

  ‘I’m Ellie. Are you waiting for the train?’

  Scarlet laughed. She couldn’t help herself. ‘Well, I’m not just sitting here for something fun to do.’

  Ellie stared at her blankly, and Scarlet quickly took her hand. ‘I�
��m Scarlet. Sorry, I’m nervous and that was supposed to be a joke.’

  Ellie laughed and shook her hand up and down before letting go. ‘Bloody hell! I thought you were just rude.’

  Scarlet’s hand flew to her mouth, stifling a shocked laugh. She wasn’t used to women cursing, and the fact that such a pretty girl had spoken like a man made it even funnier. Her mother would have been horrified. Strangely, Scarlet found that thought comforting, how her mother would have reacted, or maybe it was just a nice kind of distraction from her darker musings. Ellie immediately reminded Scarlet of her family’s servants. Back at home she’d spent plenty of time with them without her mother knowing, especially those in the kitchen.

  ‘Where are you from?’ Scarlet asked, folding her hands in her lap. Ellie had an accent, but Scarlet couldn’t place it; it was a mixture that was hard to decipher. They looked the same to any onlookers, she suspected, both in their smart grey uniforms and capes, with their Red Cross armbands, even though prior to the war she doubted she’d have ever crossed paths with Ellie. Hers had been a life of parties and picnics, young women being prepared to meet their future husbands. But even in their very short acquaintance, Ellie seemed so much more real than many of the friends Scarlet had met in that world. Scarlet suspected that she was poor, but her smile was huge and genuine, not dainty and controlled.

  ‘Can’t you tell?’ Ellie said with a laugh. ‘I’m from Ireland, but we’ve been here almost five years so I guess it’s become a little muddled. My father fell in love with an Irish lass when he was working over there, but we moved home for him to take over his family’s farm. My mother’s never forgiven him for making her move.’

  ‘Will she forgive you for leaving home and doing this?’ Scarlet asked, her voice low, thinking of her own family. She understood why they didn’t want her to go, that they imagined a society life for her that consisted of little other than pretty dresses, marriage and children. But she couldn’t just sit at home praying for a miracle when there was so much more she could do to help.

  ‘Why would you say that? Isn’t your mother happy that you’re helping our lads when they need us? I sent my letter away requesting to join just as quick as I could.’

  Scarlet sighed. ‘Has your mother told you she wants you to help the lads?’ she asked, repeating Ellie’s words, and suddenly aware of her clipped English accent.

  Ellie frowned. ‘Of course.’

  ‘Mine isn’t happy,’ Scarlet confessed. ‘She didn’t speak to me for two days when I told her what I was doing. She didn’t mind me training to be a nurse, but when I said I wanted to help, to go anywhere the army might need me, she was so angry I thought she was going to explode!’

  Ellie frowned. ‘We have three boys away at war. Some nights I lie shivering, thinking about them, wondering how bad it is. But I still want to help. I volunteered before I was enlisted into any other work.’

  Scarlet felt tears well in her eyes. ‘Me too. I can’t . . .’ She sucked back a big breath and looked up when Ellie’s hand slipped into hers. ‘My mother said we’ve lost enough men to this war without losing our women, too. She told me that it’s not a woman’s place.’ Her mother had actually said that it certainly wasn’t the place of a woman like her, but she wasn’t about to tell Ellie that. They all had to do their bit, no matter where they were from.

  ‘We’ll be fine. I promise, we’ll be just fine,’ Ellie said.

  Scarlet didn’t know what to say, how to explain the heaviness inside of her, the pain of not knowing where Thomas was. But she was lucky, wasn’t she? Her sister was safe at home; she had no brothers away fighting like Ellie did. Everyone had lost someone to this war, or more than one someone, and she needed to keep telling herself that. Even if she didn’t find Thomas, she was helping. She just had to keep believing that he was alive, that she would miraculously find him or someone who knew where he was.

  ‘So tell me, what was your training like?’ Scarlet asked, wanting to change the subject.

  ‘Me?’ Ellie laughed and the sound was contagious. ‘You really want to know?’

  ‘What’s so funny?’ Scarlet asked, grinning back.

  ‘I’m supposed to be delivering babies, not stitching up soldiers’ legs!’ Ellie said, shaking her head. ‘My ma’s a midwife and I’ve followed her around and seen babies born all my life, so the last thing I expected was to be nursing men.’

  Scarlet felt her eyebrows raise up. ‘And you were all right seeing that, when you were a girl? That must have been terrifying.’

  ‘No different than a cow having a calf, and we saw plenty of that on the farms back home. Only difference is that a woman makes a whole lot more noise!’

  Scarlet laughed again. Thank goodness for meeting Ellie. ‘You’re so funny.’

  ‘Me? Because I’m not afraid to tell the truth?’

  ‘Yes, I think that’s exactly why.’

  Ellie was nice; she might be bold with her words and stories, but she was kind and charming, too. Scarlet could tell that right away. She was different from her friends at home, and in a refreshing kind of way. Scarlet adored her friends, even if they had all raised their eyebrows at her choice to nurse, each and every one of them, but Ellie was a breath of fresh air and it felt nice to be sitting with her and talking, sharing. Scarlet had grown up in a beautiful house with servants to assist them, but she’d been sheltered from so much. Maybe that was why she’d spent so much time with the servants, why she was so curious about the rest of the world.

  ‘So how bad do you think it’s going to be wherever we’re going? As bad as they say?’

  Ellie grimaced. ‘Worse, I reckon.’

  They were both silent for a long minute, sitting side by side, staring ahead. The station was starting to fill up again, the noise level rising once more.

  ‘I feel like this should be an amazing adventure, but . . .’

  ‘It’s terrifying,’ Ellie finished for her. ‘It’s absolutely bloody terrifying, and I don’t know what to think. But we just put our heads down and get on with it. You and me, we’ll be fine if we stick together. We need to do our bit and make it home in one piece for our ma’s.’

  Scarlet reached for Ellie’s hand this time. It was nice to know that someone else was as scared as she was.

  ‘So do you have a man off fighting?’ Ellie asked, wriggling closer so they were shoulder to shoulder on the narrow bench. The proximity reminded Scarlet of her sister, who was volunteering close to home so she didn’t have to move away, and it was nice to have the warmth of Ellie against her. She sighed, holding Thomas’s memory within her, trying not to worry about how long she’d gone without hearing from him. Everyone around her lost hope too soon after the letters stopped, or at least that’s what she thought. She would never give up, not until the very end.

  ‘I have Thomas,’ Scarlet shared in a quiet voice. ‘He’s my’ – she gulped – ‘fiancé.’

  ‘Ah,’ Ellie murmured. ‘And is your Thomas away fighting?’

  Scarlet nodded. ‘Yes. Only I haven’t heard from him in a while and I have this mad idea that I might be able to find him if I’m closer to where our boys are.’

  Ellie squeezed her hand. ‘Doesn’t sound mad to me.’

  ‘Truly?’ Scarlet asked, a wave of emotion running through her. She hoped Ellie wasn’t just saying that to be nice.

  ‘Truly,’ Ellie repeated. ‘There could be a hundred reasons why you haven’t heard from him. And who says you can’t find him while we’re nursing? It sounds like a perfectly good plan to me.’

  Scarlet liked Ellie more as every minute passed. ‘How about you? Do you have a special someone? A sweetheart away fighting?’

  Ellie laughed and it made Scarlet smile again. ‘Ask me that again after I’ve been surrounded by gorgeous doctors and soldiers. If I can’t find me a dashing man while I’m nursing, I don’t reckon I’ll ever find one.’

  Scarlet laughed again. ‘So that’s the truth? You’ve joined up to find a husband?’ She was sure El
lie was joking. She was beautiful, with glossy dark hair pinned up, a wide, full mouth and chocolate-coloured eyes. There was nothing about her that wouldn’t appeal to a man as far as Scarlet could tell, so she doubted she had to go away nursing to meet someone.

  ‘What can I say?’ Ellie said, slapping her hand to her heart and making them both giggle. ‘No, I’m just being silly. I’d love to come home with a husband, I’m not going to fib about that, but I want to help. Some nurse might have stitched up one of my brothers or saved one of them, and I want to do the same for someone else’s brother. I want to do my bit I suppose.’

  Scarlet did, too. Even if she’d started out simply hoping to find her fiancé, becoming a nurse had changed her. Why couldn’t women be more involved in the war if it helped to bring more of their boys home in one piece? She was only nursing, doing women’s work, but many young women she’d heard about were doing so much more, things they would never have been permitted to do if it wasn’t wartime.

  ‘Do you know how long the journey is?’ Scarlet asked.

  ‘No,’ Ellie replied. ‘I want to get to where we’re staying and find out if we’re going to Europe or not.’

  ‘I’ve always wanted to go to France, but . . .’ Scarlet looked down and grimaced. ‘Not dressed like this or in some manly battledress.’ She had to admit that her uniform was smart, and the day she’d gone in to be measured at Harrods she’d been so proud, but the only thing to like really was the scarlet-trimmed collar of her greatcoat.

  ‘Do you really think they’ll send us there?’ Ellie asked. ‘I’ve heard so many rumours, but you never know.’

  ‘I’m sure Matron will tell us when we arrive. But maybe they’ll need us here for a bit?’ Scarlet wasn’t sure whether she wanted to stay in London or if going abroad was more appealing; truth be told she was terrified of both.

  ‘So, tell me about your mother,’ Scarlet asked, curious about the work of a midwife and wanting a distraction from her thoughts. ‘Did she really let you go along on visits?’

  Ellie grinned. ‘What, you don’t believe me? Of course she did.’